21

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (:

I know it's kind of late but I have soooo much to write which I kept on delaying. I figured. I just need to write this one up.

Terrified. 

What I first felt when the clock struck 12. 

It's that age. That legal-er than 18 age. That age when I'm now actually qualified to vote. Or to start talking about marriage. The age where it's not weird for me to travel on my own. And when people will start regarding me as an adult. 

No fun. This is no, fun.  

And the consecutive events on that day showed that all my 'terrifications' (because they do not have a noun for that, or none that I knew of) are true. An adult, I am. 

The day started off so well, had a visit by my darling sister, Razida, after not seeing each other for almost 4 years now. All grown up, driving to places on her own. So proud of who used to be my 'little' sister :')

Everything else, had been arranged by Him, so to test my responsibleness, my patience, my faith, my principles, my emotions. The day was not easy. 

I ended up saying it was not a good birthday.

Little did I realise that He is preparing me to be tough, to be stronger than before. To become, 21. On that difficult day, I got to know who really cares, or who matters most. I got to know that I am so so, unprepared to become an adult that I need to buck up, I need to handle my emotions well, my responsibilities. I got to know who will be there, and who will not.

I am an emo, woman, I know.

The point of the whole story is. It's okay to have fun. Or to let out the child in you once in a while. But at the end of the day, you need to realise that you have two jobs in hand, to PROSTRATE (abid) and to LEAD (caliph). 

And time is running out. 

Are we going to be able to complete both ?